


fracture.

by ichidou



Series: Anamnesis (one-shot collection) [1]
Category: Red vs. Blue
Genre: F/M, Insanity
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-05-02
Updated: 2011-05-02
Packaged: 2017-10-31 16:51:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 559
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/346334
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ichidou/pseuds/ichidou
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He's not in love with her. Exploring the idea of how Epsilon's memories of Tex influenced Wash.</p>
            </blockquote>





	fracture.

He's not in love with her.

That's not what makes him wake in the middle of the night, spent and breathless, her phantom touch ghosting along his skin. That's not why her bitter laugh sends a shiver down his spine from halfway across the room. It's not why he can't take her eyes off of her when she's dancing in a storm of bullets, destroying everything in her path.

His eyes follow her whenever she comes into the mess after a mission, hair twisted in an untidy braid, her glare keeping all away from her. He hears her snarl at the guards whenever she comes out of the barracks. And whenever he's paired against her in training, he can almost feel her rough hands against him.

He's not in love with her.

His imagination runs rampant with unbidden images of her on top of him, tearing every heavy plate of armor off of him and smashing him up against the wall. Her teeth gnash against his for a moment before she's biting at his jaw and neck, thighs squeezed so tightly around his he can't move. She doesn't touch him, but she pushes his hand between her legs --

and she's gone.

He's not in love with her, but Epsilon is.

He lost count of how many times he begged him to stop, to let him dream without seeing every bit of her, to let him be in the same room without his every sense tingling to be beside her. He has to protect her, even though she doesn't need protecting anymore, because he can't let it happen again. He can't lose her again.

He's not in love with her, but it doesn't matter anymore, because he and Epsilon are one and the same. He remembers _everything_ , every time she kissed him _(_ but it wasn't her _)_ , every time she'd hit him _(_ she was never like that _)_ , every time she smiled _(_ i couldn't save her _)_ \--

and then Epsilon was gone.

He wasn't in love with her, but now he is. He can't look at her without every fractured thought coming to the surface, every fragment still left in his mind begging to be with her. He wants, and wants, and wants, but he can never have her.

He's in love with her.

Nothing matters anymore. He has to do what Epsilon couldn't. He can't let all of his thoughts unravel into bits and pieces, too far broken for anyone to put back together. He's the only one left.

He's in love with her, and there's nothing he can do about it.

He's not there when the call comes in. He's off on another training mission, stuck fighting simulation soldiers for a worthless base they can't defend. He doesn't even look at the project stats when he gets back to Command. And no one is there to see him shatter when he sees the words posted on the network _(_ Agent Texas: KIA, Outpost 1A _)_ \--

and she's gone again.

He's alone in the cold, white room. There are no windows and nothing but his flimsy metal bed. He hasn't looked at himself in weeks, but he knows he's not the man he used to be. He doesn't remember what it was like before Epsilon. What it was like before her.

He's in love with her, and nothing will ever be the same again.


End file.
